Man thrown out of Liverpool newsagent for trying to haggle down the price of a Kinder Egg

Chilling.

A man was forcibly removed from a newsagents near Stanley Park in Liverpool this weekend after attempting to negotiate down the price of a Kinder Egg. It is the second time in the last seven days that the individual in question has visited the local store in the hope of securing the confectionery at a discounted rate. Individual Kinder Eggs tend to retail at the RRP of 80 pence - or £2 for a pack of three - but this was seen as a matter of debate for the opportunistic customer hoping for a deal. His initial ploy was to knock the egg over and point at it, claiming that it was unsettled, in the hope that the owner would agree and hand it over. After this suggestion proved unsuccessful, he returned a few days later to offer a staggered payment of 60 pence, in 5p weekly instalments, over the course of the subsequent three months. To sweeten the deal, he also proposed a number of performance based add-ons as follows:

• +5p if the external foil wrapper comes off in one piece
• +5p if the chocolate egg comes apart in two perfect halves
• +5p if the surprise inside is a diamond ring
• -5p if the surprise inside is just a smurf, where the 'fun' is simply attaching a head to the body
• +20p if the surprise inside is another Kinder Surprise

When the customer was flatly rebuffed and informed that the price was non-negotiable, he simply informed the newsagent that she had until 5pm to "mull the offer over", during which time he would be loitering in the magazine section, doing the Chat and Take A Break crosswords before placing them back on the shelf. It was at this point that the man in his mid-fifties was escorted from the premises. He was overheard complaining that the newsagent had been "unreasonable" in her demands of a "penniless customer", whilst clutching the £100,000 he had just won on a scratchcard.