Sadistic England fan somehow looking forward to Slovakia match

A sadistic English national team supporter has today made the sickening revelation that he is somehow looking forward to tonight's match against Slovakia.

Fan Bruce Long, who is believed to have excitedly sat through his country's match against Malta until the final whistle, has reportedly admitted to horrified family and friends just how disgustingly giddy he is at the prospect of watching England face off for an entire 90 minutes against the eastern European side in Monday's World Cup qualifier. Rather than be put off by the questionable quality of football on show during Friday's game in Attard, those close to the 37-year-old say that - if anything - he is even more enthused about tonight's match having watched Gareth Southgate's side put four goals past the Maltese. Speaking to reporters this morning, the truly disturbed man waxed lyrical about the England team and the (presumably perverted) joy that he derives from their performances, something those close to him claim he has done for years. https://twitter.com/SportsJOE_UK/status/904662582941888513

"I cannot wait for the match"

"It's going to be really good. I've been excited for the Slovakia match ever since the final whistle in the Malta game. I'm just very interested to see what sort of formation Southgate deploys and how it works against a team like Slovakia," said the man who seemingly derives grotesque pleasure from intense suffering an boredom - without even a hint of irony or humour - before elaborating on exactly why he is enthusiastic about the fixture. "Big tournaments are never easy, but these games give England the chance to try out new things and that is always entertaining to see, whether we play well or not. "Like most England fans, I am patient with the team. I am aware that this is not something which will happen overnight, so what better than just sitting back and enjoying watching the development up close? I cannot wait for the match." Long later went on to say that while he is excited for tonight's game, in the long term he just wants to see his team do what they do in the World Cup. "Win or lose, quarter-final or group stage, it's just a thrill watching and supporting my nation 100% in an international tournament," said the weirdo.

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