Woman calls police over “kebab assault”

Of all the strange 999 calls we've heard about, this is right up there.

A woman in Manchester reportedly rang up the emergency services after being attacked with a kebab at a city centre venue. The official phrasing used by Greater Manchester Police was "assault with a kebab" - we're not sure whether that's a technical term. https://twitter.com/GMPCityCentre/status/687735703296425984 Predictably there were plenty of smart alecs on Twitter keen to chip in (pun not intended) with their best gags. https://twitter.com/HatSteeds/status/687740917059551232 https://twitter.com/hsiutsang/status/687751239807938562 https://twitter.com/James_SPS/status/687740409251000320 It seems she was thirsty for justice, but that might have just been the chili sauce.