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Published 16:11 14 Aug 2015 BST
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The self-proclaimed ex-military man also writes of trying to get over his childhood sweetheart, while even throwing in more obvious references and catchphrases.
He amazingly got at least one match, and responded to a question with the line "you never know what your [sic] gonna get".
As for how he spends his weekends? "Making small talk with people at the bus stop." Obviously.
We're not sure what prompted him to do all this. Maybe he just felt like running with it.
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