This is why the pitch markings in the Arsenal vs Man City match are blue

This is so f*****g Arsenal.

What’s wrong with not knowing things?

It was good enough in the old days (anytime pre about six months ago) when debates would rage about whether the ball had crossed the line or gone out for a throw.

Instead now we go via some sort of satellite link-up that would make the Eurovision Song Contest blush to an adjudicator who is siting in an office block somewhere which we can only imagine is the dreariest place on earth who eventually makes a decision and sends word back by carrier pigeon to an official who has to carry out the orders of this couch potato and live with the jeers and abuse of the crowd.

And they call this VAR.

And they call this progress.

Well at Arsenal on Thursday night they were so committed to avoiding not knowing what’s going on that they painted the pitch lines blue.

Why?

In case it snows you f*****g idiot.

Because god forbid there was a bit of uncertainty about something that might cause a bit of debate,

Instead we have a football pitch that looks like it’s wrapped in a surgical plaster so that Claude and his ilk on Arsenal Fan TV aren’t left with a bit of ambiguity about something.

And one other thing there's no ambiguity about? How bloody awful Arsenal are. You could paint the lines luminous pink and it wouldn't distract from that.