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Published 09:50 9 Apr 2016 BST
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For once in your life, can you at least pretend to be a stallion, and not a gelding, and lump on?
It might just be worth it. It will certainly be more value than just going halves on a 40/1 shot.
Punter #1: "Who's Ruby on?" Punter #2: "Didn't you hear? He's not riding. He broke his wrist." Punter #1: "Ah sh*t, I was going to stick a tenner on him. Now I don't know." Punter #2: "What about Leighton Aspell? He's won it the last two years? His horse is pretty good." Punter #1: "Has he? Oh I'm not sure now, everyone knows it's all about the jockey. The horse is only secondary. I always go for the jockey, never lets me down. " Punter #2: "You're an idiot."
They will tell anyone who'll listen they were down in 'Willies' during the week, and that the Canadian hay has them flying.
Don't bother arguing with him either when his horse falls at Becher's Brook or The Chair.
Just stand proudly and be smug, now is your time to shine.
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