Welcome to the weird world of football
Most football club statement are boring, to be quite honest with you. The very purpose of club statements is to incite as little excitement as is humanly possible, so the language is mundane, only certain people read them, and the cycle continues forever.
Well, that is, until now. That's because Bury FC, the embattled club that was kicked out of the Football League last year and to this day, is not a member of any league, have released perhaps the most bizarre football club statement to ever see the light of day.
In the statement, which reads like Father Ted's acceptance speech at the Golden Cleric awards, the club takes aim at local media, the EFL and the FA - which are referred to as "despots".
Most impressively and bizarrely, the club has taken aim at the BBC for its licence fee decision regarding pensioners, as well as the recent controversy regarding Last Night of the Proms.
You can read the entire batshit statement in full below:
We are pleased to announce that due to new blood being introduced to Forever Bury one person in particular a successful businessman, a dialogue has commenced that should have started 20 months ago when Bury FC needed solidarity, I'm advised Forever Bury were duped by persons involved at the time which caused this and thankfully Forever Bury have seen this and these individuals have gone.
We are as eager as we were day one to foster a relationship now they have found their way, so we can work together to overcome whatever the EFL & FA do to us to prove our GREAT CLUB is here stay, remember there is “ONLY ONE BURY FOOTBALL CLUB”.
Joy Hart, your love of the Bury Football Club is welcomed and noted, however it would be nice not to be vilified yet again by you and our local newspaper and to be asked your questions rather than assuming “inaction”, a lot of people have put a lot of work into making Bury stronger than it’s ever been, but you won’t know this without interaction, I am hoping Forever Bury will fill that void subject to legal parameters.
I can only apologize (sic) to her and many other Loyal and decent fans for the medicine we had to administer to Bury FC to save her and indeed the silence due to legal constraints. What we didn’t factor in was the EFL and more recently the FA, I wrongly assumed they were there to help Clubs not despots, there actions and not just at Bury have done little to help football. I think events unfolding over the coming months will shed light on this clearly broken model, it’s a great institution that needs an overhaul, new people with business acumen, just one look at the EFL’s last 2 years accounts show this is needed and where a sense of fair play prevails, where an understanding of individual situations take precedent over a rigid (a rigidity chosen at will I might add) rule book to oppress which has no place in a fair and decent democracy. Where the actions of these few destroy the many, both financially and morally.
I will concede that in certain circumstances very recently some of these rules have acted in the best interest of Clubs, however that’s where business acumen, an understanding of individual circumstances and decency come into play not blanket oppression.
Once our CVA is completed and settlement of Mr. Days loan on our stadium which have all been extremely complex, we can start in earnest to build our great Club back up again but on footings of concrete not sinking sand to ensure longevity.
We are in talks with potentially new Senior Staff with many years of involvement in the game at the highest level of football to help in our quest, many players have expressed a desire to play and help BURY FC be great again, however until the effects of Covid are sure none of us can be certain of the future and we are deciding if it would be financially prudent not to appeal the FA’s decision however wrong it was, to then not be able to play due to Covid.
We feel the course of action is to complete the financial tasks above, get a renovation programme started at the Club and lower Gigg, then start to build on our team and youth, refurbish our Social Club to be open Pub hours and then apply for 21/22 season when we are even stronger.
Given the above we also want to propose monthly friendlies and legend games as permitted in 20/21 even with social distancing our great Stadium can accommodate our Loyal fans so they can see our team building and getting ready for a Covid free 21/22
Going Forward
To our Council, who have expressed so many times their desire to help the institution in their town known as BURY FOOTBALL CLUB were still here and we welcome any help you can give.
To GMP, we came to you as £60000 was stolen from our club through fraud, we found the perpetrator’s, gave you irrevocable proof of the crime and you have done little in these many months to bring the individuals to justice, even though the monies were traced to their bank accounts. You have now stated you are taking this no further whilst conceding the crime had took place, using CPS as the get out and stating the following and I quote “As Bury FC was already in considerable financial difficulty it is not likely that recovery of the money would assist the club in any way or rectify the situation” not a lot I can say to that!
Is it any wonder the saying “CRIME PAYS” when that’s the Police stance, so if you get robbed and your struggling financially don’t phone the police as you’re in the Sh.. anyway, so it’s pointless it won’t help you recovering your monies or goods
I can assure you as funds permit our Lawyers will pursue these monies and Individuals through the Courts.
To the Press who so openly voiced outrage at BURY FC’s plight but did nothing to help, settling for sensational journalism and biased views from anyone however loosely linked to Bury to sell copy, BURY FC is still here and needs your support from its former plight to regain its rightful place in English Football lets forget the past and help Bury get back.
Finally, In a Total Unrelated Matter
To the BBC
Our Country has its pride deeply rooted from our endeavors (sic) in the war and the tenacity and the spirit of the British people, the BBC in its day helped in this keeping moral high when rationing was in place, family’s suffering unimageable (sic) pain and spirits were low.
Licence Fees
You now think it prudent to persecute the elderly many who were either in these wars fighting for our great country or have lost loved ones, many being financially challenged, at great risk of COVID and even more so as winter comes, so your thank you to them is make them pay for a License fee, why so the directors can get a pay rise related to profits garnered by screwing the elderly, or for your new executive car, IT IS TRULY DISGUSTING THAT NOT ONLY HAVE THE BBC DONE IT BUT THE GOVERNMENT ALLOWED IT
Proms
If the above was not enough, the Suits that wander the corridors of power at the BBC decide that one of our greatest events, which when watching makes you proud to be British of what we were but certainly not at what were at risk of becoming. It would now seem they have determined we can no longer sing rousing songs that bound our once GREAT COUNTRY together, again it seems the moral compass of the few control the many.ITS (sic) WRONG
What’s left to sanction, Hymns or the Bible
Every Country has a past, you can’t eradicate it you have to learn by it.
“IT IS SAD THAT TO BE A GOOD PATRIOT ONE MUST OFTEN BE THE ENEMY OF OTHER PEOPLES”
Voltaire
