Boris Johnson agrees £16 billion increase in defence spending

Not like there's anything else worth spending the money on, is there?

Prime minister Boris Johnson has announced a £16 billion rise in defence spending over the next four years, the largest real-terms increase in the defence budget since the days of the late Maggie Thatcher. Britain is currently locked in negotiations with the European Union to prevent a no-deal Brexit. Should a deal be agreed, the costs to the economy will still be damaging, says the London School of Economics, coming in at £2,000 per household. We are also in the midst of a pandemic which has severely dented the public finances, and during which the government has repeatedly refused to entertain the idea of increasing the pay of our NHS workers, choosing to merely clap instead. Lest we forget, this government also spent months refusing to push through legislation which would feed hungry children during their school holidays. In the end, after months of pressure from professional footballer Marcus Rashford, they relented and pledged £400m to support poor children and their families in England. Now, you cannot eat a frag missile, but that hasn't put off Johnson, who did his best Gandalf impression when explaining why he increased military spending at a time when so many people are struggling, stating that "the defence of the realm must come first". Maybe Johnson loves the military - not enough to join but enough to espouse its virtues - or maybe, as the Guardian has reported sourcing insiders, it is an attempt to show control after a week of chaos which saw his two domed Rasputins, Dominic Cummings and Lee Cain, leave 10 Downing Street and leave the PM to his own terrifying devices. Still, it will be encouraging to all those struggling through the festive period to know that the military is set to get some really shiny toys quite soon, even if their own kids won't.