When a teetotal Muslim asked the internet what Guinness tastes like

A pint of Guinness. There's nothing quite like it. Or so I'm told.

As a practicing Muslim, I've never tried it myself. But I've spent many an evening watching pals neck the stuff in various public houses as I nurse a glass of orange juice. Now I've never been tempted to sup on the dark nectar myself, but have always been somewhat intrigued as to what it is about the cloudy concoction that beguiles so many around the world. From various inquisitive probings, I do know that it's an acquired preference, but what exactly does it taste of? Is it even possible to say? Is explaining Guinness to a teetotal Muslim like describing a rainbow to a blind man? Well I asked the internet, and the replies are pure poetry... Take the best glass of water you've ever had and times it by a million. - @DaveThame It tastes like disappointment, soft drizzle and relentless boring music. - @robwarm1 Burnt coffee husks boiled and mixed in with a tad of tar and beer. - SwissLaRoca It tastes like a kiss on the lips of a handsome stranger. - @MatthewStanger Like mother's milk. If your mother were a mild alcoholic. - @ShanoMufc If you liquify a loaf of rye bread, you're basically there. - @nevillem Bittersweet, dark. Excellent with any seafood. - @Linguagroover A slight coffee-ish taste, at least it does to me. - @kyliewilson Metallic coffee. With the calorie count of a steak. - @HardyM Lick a wet lamppost and then get indigestion. - @Sam_Prest Twiglets blended with cabbage and Kenco. - @666bungle Like a dark and gloopy supermalt. - @clem_murphy When someone smacks you in the mouth and you get that metallic bloody type taste. - @EddyRhead Like trendy Oirish bullshit. - @MercurialContra Like a truth milkshake. - @homeofpolar Steel. Not in a good way. - @DamenLG Like a wet fire. Lovely. - @Mik3Lee Like heaven. - @MadCyrilUWS It tastes HEAVY. - @Gary Adey Like burnt toast. - @antoinl Disgusting. - @Jay170590 Liquid gold. - @jonkavana Licking a battery. - @gardz86 Makes you shit turf. - @rkn81 Magnificence. - @RoamingLibero Roasted mediocrity. - @hahostolze Cold coffee with vanilla. - @Kate2373 Sour soil. In a nice way. - @lxndrnthrtn Like an ash milkshake. - @BodyWewrote Exactly like seahorse tears. - @its_just_young