Brace yourselves, boys
Science has officially put an end to an age-old question that's no-doubt plagued men across the world: the perfect penis size.
Whatever hardware mother nature decided to equip you with, virtually every man has wondered whether his size was big enough at some point in their lives, especially us Brits - negativity and self-deprecation are built into our culture.
A wise man once said "it's not the size, mate, it's how you use it" (yes, that is an
Austin Powers reference), but for those of you that still need to know how you measure up, a scientific study purports to have found the perfect
penis size for women.
Speaking to porn director Holly Randall on the
latest episode of her Unfiltered podcast, Dr Nicole Prause of the joint research project between UCLA and the University of New Mexico discussed the age-old debate of penis size.
Admitting that the topic is one that regularly comes up in both the adult film industry and clinical science, Prause published her study on
Women's Preferences for Penis Size: A New Research Method Using Selection among 3D Models back in 2015 - and the results are quite telling.
Polling the 75 women who enrolled in the survey and were asked to sample 33 different 3D-printed dongs, the study revealed their preferences for size not only just for a one night stand but for a long-term relationship as well.
In short (pardon the pun), the study found that the preferred length for an erect penis based on the average one-night stand was 6.4 inches in length and the circumference was five inches.
Meanwhile, the preferred length for a long-term relationship was slightly shorter, averaging out at 6.3 inches in length; the same went for the circumference, coming in at 4.8 inches.
Speaking to Vice, Prause went on to assure any fretting fellas that you can't really call any penis "the perfect penis" and that the point of the study was not only to investigate pain during sex for women - as well as the neuroscientific events that occur during - but that "the situation matters" and it really isn't one size fits all.
Moreover, the good doctor went on to reassure any self-conscious readers that penis size was actually at the bottom when women ranked what is important for them when finding a man - "just above eye colour and type of car", in fact.
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