JOE Investigates: What time precisely is ‘Chico Time’?

What time is it? Yes, I know it's Chico Time.

As every calendar is legally obligated to display, February 27th 2006 was the day that the world changed forever. Yosseph 'Chico' Slimani released a song that shaped a generation that so desperately craved it. But what time IS Chico Time? 7.30am, 2.45pm, midnight? I decided to find out.

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Significance Of The Release Date February 27th is a pivotal day in the Gregorian calendar. If you cast your mind back to 1964, it was on the 27th February that the Italian Government announced that the Leaning Tower of Pisa was in serious danger of collapsing. Classic Italy, they didn't start preserving the tower until 1999. That's a delay of 35 years. Keep the number 35 in mind, we'll come back to it later. As we all know, February 27th is also Peter Andre, Chelsea Clinton and Derren Brown's birthdays, so the release date of 'It's Chico Time' seems all too convenient if you take that into account. Translating this to analytical data, on 27th February 2006, Peter Andre turned 33, Chelsea Clinton celebrated her 26th birthday and Derren Brown became 35 years old. Adding those three ages together, we get 94, which is an average age of 31.3, which we'll round down to 31, for sport. Keep 31 in your head. 2006 was an important year, verified bangers being released aside. If you cast your mind back, you'll remember that it was the year Italy won the World Cup in Germany. The final took place on 9th July, when Italy beat France 5-3 in a penalty shootout after a 1-1 draw. It was Italy's first world title in 24 years, and their fourth world title overall. So let's look at the maths, Italy won 5-3 after a 24-year dry spell. That's 5 goals in 24 years, an average of 0.2 goals a year, rounding down to 0. Hang on to the number 0, we'll need it later.   Lyrical Analysis

Hey! What time is it? Chi-Chico What time is it?

Sometimes it feels so good I can't feel it's so bad My inner clock is tickin' And the black beat drives me mad

It's erotic, exotic, hypnotic that's for sure Put a smile on your face To take you to a place you've never been before

(Get up) Let it all hang out (Jump back) You wanna scream and shout!

Don't you wanna get out of line Ev'rybody say what time is it (What time is it) It's Chico Time

Well, you can get delirious If you take life too serious It's Chico Time

Now, get up in this song You can't do nothin' wrong In front of the mirror like there's a party going on If you want it, you got it, go get it Baby, can't you see Don't fantasize, just realize Be happy to be free

(Get up) Let it all hang out (Jump back) You wanna scream and shout

Don't you wanna get out of line Ev'rybody say what time is it (What time is it) It's Chico Time

Well, You can get delirious If you take life too serious

Shake it, lawdy Come on baby, funk my body Do it good and do it naughty If you don't dig reality then Baby just lay it on me It's Chico Time

Go Chico, Go Chico, Go (Go Chico, Go Chico, Go) (Repeat) Hand in the air, let me see you clap your hands Let me hear you all you Chicettes All you Chicos

You can get delirious If you take life too serious You can get delirious If you take life too serious

It's Chico Time

Folks, what we're looking at here is nothing short of lyrical genius from your friend and mine, Chico Slimani. As the man himself intended without a hint of irony, let's analyse these delightfully rhyming words to the point of insanity.

In the third verse, Chico tell us that "it's erotic, exotic, hypnotic that's for sure, put a smile on your face to take you to a place you've never been before". When I try to think of a place that fits this specific criteria, it has to be Wagamamas.

Waggers first opened in London in 1992 and boasts over 140 restaurants worldwide, with 120 of those in the UK alone. Using simple mathematics, there's 48 counties in the UK, meaning there's an average of 2.5 Wagamama restaurants in every county in the UK. We'll round that down to 1 just for sport because the maths gets a bit tricky otherwise and I am not a h*ckin mathematician.

In the fourth verse, Chico sings "In front of the mirror like there's a party going on. If you want it, you got it, go get it". It doesn't take a genius to work out that what Chico is talking about here is sorcery, black magic, voodooism, wizardly, the occult. It's WITCHCRAFT.

The act of witchcraft dates back to pre-history, meaning we can't put an actual date on it for numerical analysis. However, Sabrina The Teenage Witch contained witchcraft, so let's shift our focus to that. The show aired from 1996 - 2003, with a total of 163 episodes in that timeframe. That's an average of 23.3 episodes per year, rounding down to 23. Keep 23 in mind, we'll need that later.

Ok, another solid clue is in the second last verse. "Shake it, lawdy. Come on baby, funk my body. Do it good and do it naughty. If you don't dig reality then baby just lay it on me". What can this possibly pertain to? The sex. Chico is talking about the sex.

Not really a huge amount of in-depth research necessary for this one. The number we're taking from this verse is 69, because LOL.

 

Chico's Input

As is only right, I decided to take my queries to the man himself, Yousseph 'Chico' Slimani. It took a while, but I managed to track down an email address for him. I then constructed a message which I believe contained the right amount of flattery and concern.

  Much to my delight, my idol and yours, Chico replied to my message a mere 29 hours later. He's a busy man, I anticipated a delay of 10-12 working days, so was pleasantly surprised with his efficiency and willingness to shed light on the matter.  

As expected, Chico was an absolute champ with his answer, also spot on with his analysis of this whole scenario being 'funny'. Chico Time is whenever the fuck you necessitate Chico time, basically. It's more of a concept than an actual time. Although an inconvenient truth, I have no choice but to take Chico's word on this one.

So there's no definitive data to go by, but I sent the email at 13.01, so let's just take 13 as our number here.

 

Data Collation

As it stands, we're looking at a series of numbers that bear strong relevance to 'It's Chico Time'. But how do we derive an accurate answer from it? Simple.

Based on ancient data collation methods, I've muddled the numbers together to determine a time that we can accurately connect to being Chico Time.

 Well, there we have it. It would appear that Chico time is 4.20pm. Case closed.