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Published 23:48 15 Dec 2015 GMT
The TV channel UK Gold asked its viewers to send in short jokes that could be used in Christmas crackers in 2015, here are the best/worst ones they were sent.
1. I told my Granddad to go to Amazon for his Christmas shopping... He phoned me two days later from Brazil.
2. Why were Jeremy Clarkson’s colleagues excited to try his mulled wine? Because they’d been floored by his punch.
3. How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? On the dark side.
4. Why did Santa pour Lemsip into the chimney? He was coming down with the flue.
5. Why don’t Volkswagen hold Christmas Services? They get the readings wrong.
6. Why is there no Champagne at the Chelsea Christmas party? Because Mourinho got rid of the Fizzy-o.
7. Why was the turkey at the Talk Talk Christmas party such a mess? It was hacked.
8. Who’s Rudolph’s favourite pop star? Beyon-sleigh.
9. What do Wikileaks staff have with their Christmas turkey? An anonymous sauce.
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