12 texts it’s perfectly acceptable to send when you’re broke

Being broke is a steaming pile of garbage.

Nobody is their best self when they're broke, except maybe Shia LaBeouf. It's hard trying to live a San Pellegrino lifestyle on a Ribena budget. You fantasise about dining in an expensive restaurant where the waiter laughs at requests to split the bill because they've simply never heard such a pathetic query before. Instead, you're having sleep for dinner and, at a push, half a cold Pot Noodle for dessert. Still, at least your dazzling sense of humour remains with or without access to a sizeable amount of cash. Every cloud. Here's 12 texts it's perfectly acceptable to send to your mates when you haven't two beans to rub together.

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1. Nutritional Reassurance   2. Anxiety Prevention     3. Awkward But Essential Queries   4. Medical Enquiries   5. Research And Innovation   6. Entrepreneurialism    7. General Queries   8. Crime Consideration   9. Startling Realisations   10. Generous Bargaining   11. Admission Of Guilt   12. Risk-Taking