Heinz launches insurance policy for people who always get sauce on them

Are you one of the 48%?

For those who are regular spillers, there are now 57 different types of claims relating to saucy accidents on the MyBenefits app for customers to avail of.

According to their own research, 48% of their customer base experience recurring ketchup leakage and the company reckons its about time they were looked after.

For the moment, this feature applies only to users of the brand in the United Arab Emirates, but were it to take off, could become available to UK ketchup consumers.

Heinz lovers in the UAE will have the opportunity to redeem compensation through a range of rewards, including home cleaning services, laundry assistance, handyman services and even indulgent spa treatments.

The company is known for it's distinctive and successful marketing, and Passant El Ghannam, head of marketing at Kraft Heinz MEA said: “Here at Heinz, we know our fans’ love for our ketchup can sometimes be, well, a bit over the top.

“Our research tells us that 48% of them have ketchup accidents all the time, but 91% swear their love for Heinz makes it totally worth it. That’s why we’re rolling out ketchup insurance – to turn messy moments into pure joy and convenience for our die-hard fans, letting them enjoy their ketchup incidents worry-free.”

The policy's official site lists 57 damage descriptions which include:

The Mega-Squeeze – the claimant attempts a mega-squeeze of Heinz ketchup, causing ketchup to disperse in all directions.

Heinz Sight – the claimant attempts to squeeze the bottle with a loose nozzle, causing temporary vision impairment.

Error 57 – the claimant spills ketchup upon their computer and/or computer equipment, impairing its function.

Young Picasso – the claimant’s young offspring use the ketchup for artistic purposes, resulting in a messy masterpiece.

Murphy’s Law – the claimant’s ketchup spill beats all the odds, and lands on the only white section of the affected object.

To be fair to Heinz, they've covered pretty much every instance there.

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