We watched the MTV Europe Music Awards with a JOE dad – here’s what he thought

"Haven't the MTV Awards been going for years? And they still don't know what they're doing."

Those are the words of my dad. Don't be mistaken, it wasn't a premeditated plan to sit and watch the 2015 MTV Europe Music Awards (EMAs) with my pa. But staying the night at my parents' house means after dinner and a debrief, the rest of the evening is spent watching telly; I'm on the sofa and dad is in his armchair with control of the remote. I moved out a long time ago, I don't expect the box privileges I once had. Once he's finished with the Grand Prix and done chattering about how fantastic it is for F1 in the UK that Lewis Hamilton has won his third World Championship, he scrolls through the planner and automatically switches over to Channel 5. https://twitter.com/LewisHamilton/status/658420506769661952 He thinks I want to watch the EMAs for enjoyment, actually it's for work and for Twitter purposes (and I got bored off Downton Abbey after series one). "You like this don't you? Haven't you been to them a couple of times before?" dad says. "Yes I have and I wouldn't say I liked it," I respond. "Who is that?" He states at first sight of Ruby Rose, this year's co-host with Ed Sheeran. "They always get people like this to present it don't they?" "Like what dad? She's an actor." https://twitter.com/MTV/status/658439281728466944 After a minute, he chirps: "Is she an actress? Hmm, she seems to have something about her..." "Like what? Actually, don't worry about it", I say quickly. Ellie Goulding emerges from a diamond unfolding into a flower to perform 'Love Me Like You Do'. We're a few bars in and I'm waiting for the first piece of profound dad commentary. I look at him and his head is cocked to one side, I can tell what he wants to say... Playing it safe, he asks, "Is this a good song? Her voice sounds a bit weak, maybe it's the acoustics." Ellie continues with her performance... https://twitter.com/billboard/status/658439969887920128 And then he simply can't help himself. "Is she stuck to that plinth? That dress isn't too good is it? It looks like something you'd see in the back streets of Milan." "Ermmm. Is that so?" Justin Bieber is back on stage picking up one of his five awards of the night and breaking the record for the most MTV EMAs won ever, although that's not enough to make him break down in tears like he did during the VMAs in August. Picking up 'Best Look', dad reacts: "BEST LOOK!? What? Is that an actual category? Not even style, but look? He looks ridiculous." https://twitter.com/iankeithtom/status/658416240403292161 Bieber says: "I got these looks from my mama." Dad: "Oh, how profound." Ed Sheeran and Rudimental collaborate for the band's track 'Lay It All On Me'... https://twitter.com/stefa73it/status/658587301203857408 After, dad says, "That didn't sound anything like it does on the radio." Mark Ronson is on stage presenting an award but is more occupied with the gin and tonic in his hand, and it isn't long before Ed Sheeran makes it clear he's also on the booze train. "They're all getting pissed!" says dad laughing. "Can't blame them..." Even the adverts get dad's goat. It's the Call Of Duty: Black Ops 3 promo featuring Rolling Stone's 'Paint It Black' as the soundtrack. "What's this? A game!? What, and the Stones said yes to this?" "Money talks, dad", I reply. "So what! It's not like the Stones need it" he says huffing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wbxujPpr3MY Dad's back after a toilet break and Pharrell Williams is being introduced by Ed, who by this point is well on his way... "He looks like he's about to creosote the fence" dad retorts as he's sitting down. I laugh. https://twitter.com/billboard/status/658469353810214912 'LET THEM IN!' shouts Williams as he breaks into a performance of 'Freedom', resulting in a sing-along and the biggest audience response of the show. https://twitter.com/stefa73it/status/658586309884252160 "This looks like one of the only performances that wasn't put together this morning. He always thinks about the choreography doesn't he? Does things a bit differently?" says dad. "Yes. Pharell's got a lot of experience, he's been around a while." "How old is he?" "Early forties, 42 or something..." "Is he!? Wow." And with that the 2015 MTV EMAs are over. "Thank god for that" says dad and he turns over to MOTD 2.