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Published 15:37 7 Mar 2018 GMT
Updated 15:54 7 Mar 2018 GMT
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Image credit Fox TV[/caption]
That's him on the left. He's about to confiscate your football. He's about to make you finish all your peas before you can go back outside.
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Image credit Fox TV[/caption]
There he is, pretending to be all kind and caring but really he's just waiting, counting down the seconds, until he can pretend to feel a drop of rain and send you all inside for wet lunch. He fucking loves it. He once made you stand up against the wall because you were running too fast and, in his words, "were out of control". You were 8 years old.
Why has he dressed up like Mrs Doubtfire for an upcoming season of MasterChef Junior? I don't know. But what I do know is this: he did not have to be persuaded. He did not have to be asked more than once.
"Gordon, can I have a word?"
"YES. WHAT? WHAT IS IT? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?"
"We were thinking it might fun if you dressed up as Mrs Doubt-"
"Yeah sure, fine, whatever."
"Wait, what?"
"I SAID YES DIDN'T I. I SAID I'D DO IT. NOW FUCK THE FUCK OFF PLEASE. NOW. LEAVE ME ALONE"
*waits for producer to leave, slowly opens his secret wig drawer*
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