We gave this year’s Oscar-nominated movies honest titles because someone had to

The Oscars, am I right?

With the announcement of this year's Oscar-nominated movies being unleashed upon the world, one thing instantly became clear: Movie names have gone to dirt. Look, I'm not saying I could do a better job than some of the most successful filmmakers the world has ever seen, but I'm saying I could try. Year after year we're paying with our hard-earned cash to see movies whose names are unforgivably deceiving. A Star Is Born taught us nothing about the exciting formations in dense concentrations of interstellar gas and dust, The Favourite didn't lament Twitter's pathetic decision to change its interactive options to 'likes' and retweets, Roma taught us nothing about plum tomatoes and The Wife spent no time in the kitchen making sandwiches haha just kidding she made one sandwich. Rather than sit and complain about the injustices facing the average film viewer today, I've decided to take control of things. I'm renaming this year's Oscar-nominated movies and there's nothing you can do to stop me.

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Vice   A Star Is Born   Bohemian Rhapsody   BlackKklansman   Roma   Black Panther   The Wife   Can You Ever Forgive Me?   Green Book   The Favourite